Reluctant Hearts: A Clean Regency Romance (Faithful love Book 1) Read online

  “I watched her disappear,” He answered quietly. “I looked up and, she was there, Then the next instant, a wave struck the ship and... she was gone.” His hand raked through his hair before stopping on the top of his head. “I tried to go after her. Tried to look for her but... the storm was too bad.” He shook his head. “I don't really remember much of those few moments, but the captain said that I kept trying to run for the railing til three of his mates had to drag me to the hull. It's didn't actually sink in that she was gone until I picked Sterling up. After that, I honestly don't remember much.” He let out a soft laugh. “Maybe that's why you're so easy to talk to. In some strange way... you understand.”

  She gave a small nod. “And I do still want to be here for you and Sterling, just as a friend. Until such a time I'm no longer needed.”

  His whole demeanor relaxed and he turned towards her with a bright smile. “You know what I

  need?”

  She raised an eyebrow. “What?”

  “I could really use one of those hugs from earlier. It's been a long exhausting day.”

  A laugh escaped her as she nodded. She knew she shouldn't have been so eager to step into his arms again, but she was almost positive that if there had been more than two steps between them, she'd have run to him. She wasn't sure, but as she laid her head on his shoulder, she thought she heard him mumble something that sounded like. “If only things were different.”

  Chapter 7

  “A picnic!? ” Lady Patricia said in exasperation. “As in eating outside? On the ground?! ”

  Sterling raised an unamused eyebrow. “Duh.”

  Adrian quickly stepped between his son and the woman. “It's just something we enjoy and

  wanted to share with you. Since you will be his mother.”

  “We?” The child questioned.

  Adrian pushed him from view. “It's fun.”

  “Perhaps we could do something else,” She said slowly. “Something more... elegant.”

  “You can take an umbrella to keep the sun off,” Sterling piped up.

  Adrian looked down at the boy mildly impressed. “That's a good idea.”

  “Well, how else would she keep from turning to dust? Vamp-”

  “That's enough.” Once again, Adrian pushed the child from view. “I already promised Sterling a picnic. Won't you join us?”

  “I don't-”

  “Paige!” Sterling suddenly burst from behind his father and ran to his nanny's side, grabbing her hand. “Lady Pat doesn't want to go on the picnic. So you come!”

  “But I... I really shou-”

  “No arguing.”

  Adrian watched as his son dragged the young woman out the door before he glanced up at Lady Patricia and flashed her a smile. “Bye.” And just that fast, he was out the door, leaving a dumbfounded Lady Patricia staring after them.

  “What was that all about?” Paige asked as they climbed the hill towards the same spot as her first picnic with them.

  Adrian shrugged. “Lady Patricia didn't want to come so... we brought you.”

  Sterling nodded emphatically. “I like you a lot better than Lady Pat. She's boring. ” He snapped his fingers the best he could, but didn't actually make a sound. “Oh! Now I know why she was talking about boring school!”

  Adrian and Paige both stopped dead in their tracks. “What?” They said in unison.

  “Lady Pat said that she grew up in boring school.” He looked back at them and smiled

  innocently. “That explains a lot. ” He then grinned and ran to stand between them, grabbing a hold of their hands. “Swing me!”

  Paige quickly glanced at Adrian who shrugged. Sterling's laughter filled the air as he was swung back and forth, his hands gripped tightly by those of his father and nanny.

  Paige couldn't keep her own laughter in as Adrian grinned.

  “I always wanted to do this,” He said quietly.

  She shot him a quizzical look. “What?”

  He nodded towards his son who they were still swinging between them. “This was one thing

  that I always wanted to do with my kids. I never got the chance though.”

  She laughed. “Make them fly?”

  He nodded. “Make them fly. Make them laugh. See them grow...”

  Paige froze as his words began to echo around inside her head and suddenly, there were images flashing before here eyes...

  “I can't believe this is real!” someone exclaimed, their presence nothing more than a blurry blob moving across her vision. “This is... it's too good to be true!”

  A voice, that sounded much like her own, laughed. “You've been going on about this for weeks.

  Hasn't the fascination worn off yet?”

  “Are you kidding!?” His joy only seemed to grow. “No. No it hasn't, and I”ll tell you why. It's because I love you. And because I'm going to love the baby, whether it's a boy or a girl, I don't care, because it's yours.” He shook his head quickly. “Ours. It's our baby.” He laughed again as if the joy was just too much to keep contained. “A-and I want to do things. When I was little, my father and mother would each take one of my hands and they were swing me between them. I always felt like I was flying!”

  She couldn't contain her own laughter as she watched him. “You want to make them fly?”

  “I want to do much more than that, Darling,” He responded exuberantly. “I want to make them fly. I want to make them laugh. I want to see them grow and... and I want to do it all with you. Only you.” His hands grabbed a hold of her shoulders, and even through the blur, she could feel the love and joy radiating off of his entire being. “I am making you a promise right here and right now, that I will always love you and I will always love our children, no matter how many we have.” His hands moved up to caress her face. “That's a solemn promise.”

  Tears were now streaming down her face as she smiled up at him, her hands moving to cover his. “I promise that too. As long as I'm with you.”

  A slow moan escaped her as she shifted... on the hard ground? Her eyes slowly opened. When

  had she closed them?

  “Paige!” A far away voice called. “Paige, are you okay?”

  Ever so slowly, her eyes focused in on a face. Adrian's face.... that was filled with worry.

  Sterling was beside him, sharing the same expression.

  She blinked a few times before sitting up and shaking her head. “What happened?”

  “I-i don't know,” Adrian answered. “You just froze and than... you fainted.”

  “Thankfully, I wasn't in the air at the time,” Sterling added.

  “Are you okay?”

  She nodded slowly. “Y-yeah. I think so. I don't know what happened it...” She shook her head again. “Can you give me a hand up?”

  “Of course.” Adrian quickly straightened and offered her a hand, which she took. “Are you sure you're okay?”

  “I think so. Yeah.” She released a breath. “I... I don't know what happened. It was so... strange.”

  He frowned. “What was?”

  “I... I can't remember.” She rubbed her forehead. “There was someone and he...” She released a deep breath and buried her face in her hands. “I can't remember! But he was there! And he was happy about something but I... I can't remember what.”

  Adrian gently grabbed her shoulders. “Hey, it's okay. Don't worry about it. I'm sure you'll remember.”

  Sterling looked back and forth between them. “Are you sure she's okay?”

  Adrian slowly released her and nodded. “Mm, I think so. Do you feel okay?”

  “Yeah, I feel fine,” She answered. “I just... spaced out. That's all.”

  Sterling smiled. “Yay! Back to the picnic!”

  “We don't have to if you don't feel up to it,” Adrian said quickly. “We can take you home.”

  “No no.” She shook her head. “I'm fine. Let's go eat before it gets dark.” She was very aware of him watching her as she ran to catch up with Sterling who ha
d taken off a few moments before. Who was that man? She wondered. And who is he to me?

  ~*~*~*Reluctant Hearts*~*~*~

  Paige turned another page in the diary. She'd been reading it nonstop since they'd returned from the picnic, trying desperately to forget about that... whatever it was. But, the thought still kept creeping to the forefront of her mind. It had seemed so real. More like a memory than a dream.

  Pushing the thought away, once again, she turned her attention back to the handwritten book in her hands. The pages had been filled with a large turn of emotions. One day, the writer, Olivia, had so much joy, it literally leapt from the pages, and then others were tear stained. And every so often, there was a note slipped in from Adrian, reminding her that he loved her and was still fighting for his right to marry whomever he wished.

  And then, finally, she turned to an entry that had been written with so much excitement that the writer had apparently been shaking.

  I can't believe it's true! It's finally happened!

  I honestly don't know what today is, and I don't care!

  Adrian won! The council AND his parents have agreed!

  I'm marrying Adrian! Me! Olivia! The orphan who never knew her parents. Who never had a home. I'm marrying the future Duke of Havendale!

  Adrian was so excited when they finally accepted that he picked me up and spun me around the room for several minutes!

  His mother was smiling, and, despite the straight face, I think his father was too.

  I still can't believe it. All of my dreams have come true.

  I'm going to marry the love of my life. My best friend. My first love.

  My only love.

  And I have no doubt that we'll spend the rest of our lives just as happy as we are now.

  And just in case I want to know later, it is June 18th, 1646

  She sat aside the book as a soft knock sounded on her door. She didn't have to guess to know that it was Sterling, because he just kept knocking. She quickly made her way across the room and opened the door, smiling down at the child. “Hi, Sterling. What are you still doing awake?”

  The child's hair was all messed up from sleep and he stared up at her with wide blue eyes. He gripped a blanket to his chest. “Can you read me a story?”

  “Now?” She glanced back at a clock that was sitting on a nearby table. “Sterling, it's nearly midnight.”

  He pooched out his bottom lip and looked down at the ground. “I know but... I can't sleep.”

  She sat down on her heels in front of him. “Why not? What's bothering you?”

  “I don't want Papa to marry Lady Pat! I want him to marry you!”

  “Sterling-”

  “I don't like her! And Papa doesn't either!” His large blue eyes began to water. “I know he doesn't! Because, because he looks at her like he looks at everyone. But not you. He smiles when he looks at you! And not just with his mouth, with his eyes too!”

  “Sterling, I can't-”

  “I don't want to go to boring school!” His shout echoed through the empty hallway, followed by complete silence.

  Paige stared at him in shock. “Sterling, you're not going to boarding school. Not now, not ever.

  You're father isn't going to do that to you.” She quickly wiped a tear from the boy's cheek. “Where on earth did you get that idea?”

  “Lady P-Pat said that... that when she married Papa. T-that she was g-going to see I w-went to a boring school b-because s-she wasn't gonna raise a c-child who was born from a-an orphaned p-p-peasant.”

  Paige had to clamp her teeth down on her tongue to hold in the anger that flared up inside of her.

  Taking a deep breath, she focused on the child again. “Did you tell you father?”

  He shook his head. “I don't wanna make Papa sad again.”

  She released the breath as she gently pulled him into her arms. “He's not going to let anything happen to you, Sterling, I promise. He loves you so so much.”

  “But will he still love me if he marries her? ”

  “Of course he will!”

  “But what if he doesn't?”

  She looked down at him. “Sterling, if you don't want him to marry her, why do you want him to marry me?”

  “Because, I know you love me. And he loves me. And I know you won't convince him not to love me.”

  She couldn't stop the small laugh as she hugged him again. “How about we go read that story?”

  An hour later, she was curled up on a couch in the library, Sterling leaning against her as she read, what she was sure was, the fifth book. A soft fall of rain had started outside, accompanied by rumbling thunder in the distance. Fifteen more minutes passed, and Sterling fell asleep against her, so she just sat aside the book and leaned back into the plush couch, slowly allowing sleep to take her.

  Almost immediately, a scene spread out across her mind:

  Lush fields of green grass, filled with dandelions and daisies, a clear and cloudless blue sky. A gentle breeze that was just enough to pull her hair slowly across her face.

  She stood atop of a hill, taking in all the sights and sounds around her. A soft smile graced her face, and she closed her eyes against the warm ray from the sun that bathed her cheeks. All at once, a pair of arms circled her shoulders and a chin rested on top of her head. A small, satisfied laugh escaped her as she leaned back into the embrace. She fit perfectly in the circle of his arms, like a puzzle piece. She felt as if she'd been made specifically to stand there. His arms around her shoulders, hands crossed gently in front of her neck, his chin resting on top of her head. In the place where she could feel every breath. Every heartbeat. A heartbeat that beat in time with her own, causing joy and peace to course through her veins like nothing else could.

  “I wish I could just stand here forever,” He whispered softly. “Just stand here and forget the rest of the world. Forget the trouble and demands and... everything.”

  She smiled and leaned back against him. “Just stay out in the middle of a quiet field in the middle of nowhere?”

  “No.” He shook his head. “Just stay out here in the peace and quiet with you.”

  She laughed softly. “Anytime you talk about the 'perfect place' in the world, I love how I'm always there too.”

  He hummed softly. “You being there is what makes it perfect.” He pressed a kiss into her cheek and smiled. “I can't imagine a world without you now. You're the one person I know will never judge me too quickly. Who will listen when I need to speak. Who will understand when I make mistakes.” He raised a hand to stroke the side of her face. “I know you're not perfect, but you don't expect me to be.

  And you have no idea how amazing that feels. To have that one person who doesn't expect you to hold the world on its axis without stumbling.”

  She turned in his arms to look up at him. “There are lots of people who love you.” She reached up and gently took his face in her hands. “But not like I do.”

  He pulled her into a tight hug, once again resting his head atop hers. “Nothing could convince me otherwise,” He said softly. “Nothing in this world, as long as your right here.”

  She smiled into his shoulder. “I'm not going anywhere.”

  Abruptly, the scene changed. She was no longer standing on a beautiful, sun kissed hillside, but in the belly of a ship. Thunder crashed somewhere above as she ran up a wooden staircase. The whole world around her rocked back and forth violently, causing her to crash into the nearby walls, No, her thoughts screamed, Please no! She burst through a small door, only to be instantly pounded with rain. The deck of the ship was slick beneath her feet, but that didn't stop her. She looked around anxiously,Where was he? Was he okay? She knew it was foolish to leave safety, but she had to know... Then, she saw him. She saw his eyes. Brown filled her vision as panic flashed through him. He jumped for her only to be slammed into the deck as a large wave, one she hadn't seen coming, washed over her. Her feet slipped from beneath her, but she didn't hit hard deck, instead she just slid. She ca
ught one last look at him. His panic filled face. His hand as it reached out for her. In one last desperate attempt, she reached for him, but missed, her fingers barely brushing the tips of his. And the next instant, she was tossed out into the raging ocean.

  The water engulfed her like a giant monster, pulling her beneath its cold, threatening waves.

  She struggled and pushed til she managed to push her head above the water. Lightning flashed, instantly followed by a deafening crack of thunder.

  “Adrian!” Her voice was carried away on the wind as another wave washed over her. Terror seized her heart like a cold, icy hand as she once again tried for the surface. Once more, her head rose above the waves and she heard him. His voice. Her name. But, she didn't have any time to respond to it before the cold, angry waves claimed her again.

  She continued to struggle, her attempts becoming weaker. Slower. Heavier.

  Her lungs screamed for air, but there was none. Everything around her started to fade into darkness as she sank closer and closer to the bottom. Right when she thought that she could close her eyes forever, a pair of strong hands grabbed a hold of her shoulders, giving her a vicious shake.

  “Paige!”

  She gasped as she sat straight up then all but fell into the person holding onto her. Her head pressed into his chest as she sucked in one deep breath after another, her whole body trembling.

  Adrian just stayed there, a mixture between confusion, concern and relief flooding through him.

  He didn't know what to expect when Sterling had woken him up by bouncing on the bed. At first he'd thought it had been because of the storm. But he had only become confused when his son began to frantically tell him, while trying to catch his breath' that 'she' was crying in her sleep. It had taken him a moment to figure out what was going on, but when he had, he'd run to the library to find Paige tossing and turning, tears streaming down her face as she gripped at thin air. Mumbled 'nos' had reached his ears as he got closer. Then... she'd shouted his name. He had frozen in shock, until he realized that she'd stopped moving. She'd stopped mumbling. She had stopped breathing! He had panicked, running to her side in attempt to wake her up. When she didn't respond, in one final desperate attempt, he'd grabbed her shoulders and, probably harder than necessary, had shaken her.