Reluctant Hearts: A Clean Regency Romance (Faithful love Book 1) Read online

  And now, he was in a half standing, half sitting position, her head pressed into him as her entire being shook. Her hands were fisted into his shirt as if he were her lifeline.

  Very slowly, a breath left him and he felt the panic slowly start to slip away. She was okay. She was safe. He carefully put an arm around her, letting her know that he was there as she continued to cry and tremble against his chest. “You're okay,” He said softly, almost as much for himself as for her. “It was just a nightmare. Everything's fine.”

  Her grip on his shirt tightened and she pressed even harder into him. “I thought I'd lost you.”

  He froze, his brows lowering in confusion. “Lost me?”

  Instantly, she became stock still, then she slowly raised her head and looked around. “W-wait.

  Wh-where am I?”

  “You're in the library,” He answered. “Are you okay?”

  She looked up at him, her expression not changing. “A-Adrian?”

  He nodded before asking again, “Are you okay?”

  “I... I think so.” She blinked a couple of times. “Why are you here? In the library?”

  “Sterling came and got me.” He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “You were having a

  nightmare. And then... you stopped breathing.” His hands moved back to her shoulders. “You scared me half to death!” and in an instant, he was hugging her tightly again. “Please, please never do that again.”

  Ever so slowly, she felt her own fears melt away. “Thank you.”

  He nodded. “You're welcome. Are you sure you're okay?”

  “I am now.” She, regretfully, pulled away from him and turned to face the child who was

  standing by, unsure of what to do. “Thank you, Sterling.”

  The child ran into her arms and wrapped his arms around her neck. “You scared me too!” He

  said quickly. “I've never seen no one cry in their sleep before.”

  Adrian watched as Paige simply enveloped the child, holding him tightly against her. She really does love him... He thought, then a sudden realization dumped over him like a bucket of ice filled water. Every muscle in his body had frozen when she'd shouted his name, sending a bolt of electricity straight to his core. His panic when she'd stopped breathing. The way he'd felt that he had to wake her up. The feeling that he couldn't lose her. That he needed her. He had unknowingly and unintentionally fallen in love with her... and now he was trapped.

  “I'm sorry made you get up in the middle of the night,” She was saying as he snapped out of his stupor.

  “Don't worry about it,” He responded instantly. “I'm just glad I was here.” He slowly tilted his head to the side. “Do... do you want to talk about it? The nightmare, I mean.”

  She bit her lip and slowly shook her head. “I-I don't think so.”

  “Can you read me another story?” Sterling asked. “Please?”

  Adrian chuckled and shook his head. “I think it's far past time for you to be asleep.”

  “Please please!” The child begged, widening his large blue eyes. “Pleeeeeeeeeease!”

  Paige laughed. “I-I don't mind if you don't.”

  “Yay!” Sterling grabbed the book that had been set aside earlier, pushed his father onto the couch, pushed Paige down beside him then climbed into her lap. “Start it over, please.”

  Paige glanced up at Adrian quickly, and he gave her a consenting nod. With a slight sigh of relief, she opened the book.

  Chapter 8

  A low groan left Adrian's chest as he slowly woke to sunlight shining in his eyes. Why on earth does my neck hurt? He wondered. And why am I in an upright position? His eyes opened and shelves of books swam into focus. Library. He was in the library. Why was he in the library? A soft noise to his right caught his attention, and for the first time, he realized that there was someone leaning against his shoulder. Once he realized that it was Paige, everything came flooding back. Being woken up by his son. Having to wake Paige up from her nightmare, then sitting down to read Sterling a story.

  Her eyes fluttered open just then and she gently ran her finger's through the child's, who was asleep in her arms, hair.

  “Good morning,” Adrian whispered.

  Paige froze and in an instant, her head swung around to face him, her eyes widening in

  embarrassment and horror. Before she could move, however, Adrian grabbed her shoulder.

  “Don't wake Sterling,” He said softly.

  She glanced at the child in her lap and nodded before slowly moving away from him and laying the young boy on the couch.

  Adrian just smiled and stood, vaguely aware that Paige had followed suit. He walked over to a nearby window to look out at the rising sun.

  “I'm sorry about last night,” She said softly as she stepped up beside him. “I'm supposed to be helping not causing a problem.”

  He laughed quietly. “You're not a problem, Paige. Well... not in that sense.”

  She lowered her head and began to pick at an invisible string on her skirt. “You... you asked me what the nightmare was about last night.”

  “You don't have to tell me.”

  “No. But I want to.” She sucked in a deep breath then let it out all at once. “It doesn't make sense. It... these dreams that I used to have... and that have come back. They... they seem so real and feel so familiar but at the same time... they're so foreign. I can't tell if they're memories or just my mind mixing things together to confuse me. Like last night's.” She looked at him from the corner of her eye, He was just standing there, patiently waiting, “The other day when I blacked out. Something you said registered something in my mind and... I've been having these dreams ever since. Some are good. And some... not so much.” She rubbed her hands up and down her arms, trying to ward off a chill that was starting to sink in. “But they all have things in common. There's always this... man.”

  Adrian stiffened. “A man?”

  She nodded. “Yeah. And I... I feel like I know him but... I don't. I can never see his face, just hear his voice. But I can never remember what the voice sounds like when I wake up.”

  He nodded in understanding. “What happened?”

  “Well... He's always so happy and... sweet. When everything in the dream is going right, he's everywhere. He's pacing, he jumping, he clapping his hands together. He comes to me and grabbed my shoulders and I see his brown eyes but...” Her shoulders slumped. “I wasn't honest with you the other day. When we were on the picnic, I did remember what happened. But it... it confused me. And scared me.” She sighed and leaned her head against the wall. “He kept talking about our family. Our baby.”

  She wasn't aware that tears had started to fall down her face. “He called me darling. I... I don't know what to do, Adrian.” She slowly raised her head to look at him. “I feel something in these dreams. And last night it... it started to perfect. He was there again, we were standing on a hill and he... he just told me that he loved me and... and then there was a storm and suddenly... he turned into you.”

  Adrian's eyes widened. “Me?”

  She nodded. “It was so real and yet...” She grabbed the sides of her head. “I don't know what to do because... I love Sterling. He is so so sweet and mischievous and every time I imagined myself with a son... it was him.” She fell quiet for a moment. “And then I met you. And I... I want so badly to be here for you and...” Her voice lowered to a whisper. “Be the one you love.”

  He drew back in shock. “Paige-”

  “But then there's that man in my dreams. I don't know if he's real. If what he says is true. If it is... I already have a family somewhere. B-but I don't even know where to start.”

  Adrian reached out and placed a hand on her shoulder, forcing down his own emotions. I should have known better... “I wish I could say that I understood completely what you're going through but... I don't. I wish there was some way I could help.” He slowly let his hand drop from her shoulder and back to his side. “But I know what you mean a
bout the dreams. I... have dreams like that too. And ever since you came here I... I've been remembering small things. Times that I spent with Olivia. Good and bad, but she was always there. In those flashbacks, I can hear her. I just can't see her.” He leaned back against a nearby bookshelf and sighed. “I'm not going to lie to you Paige. Ever since I met you you...

  you've brought things back. Not just memories but feelings. Feelings that I haven't felt in a long... long time. And if I wasn't such a coward I... probably would have done something about it but...” He shook his head slowly. “Olivia was always there when I needed her and when she died... I lost my stronghold.

  And... I've already told you all of this.”

  She released a long, slow breath, wishing that her heart would stop crumbling inside of her.

  “Maybe... maybe this is all for the best because... I would never be completely happy if I was always wondering if I already had another family.”

  He turned his gaze away from her to stare out the window. “Yeah,”

  ~*~*~*Reluctant Hearts*~*~*~

  September 28th, 1648

  I think the only way to explain my life right now is: Complete.

  I have Adrian, the love of my life. And now... our son,

  Sterling is so.. so perfect. Yes, he keeps me up at night but...

  I never knew I could love two people as much as do my new family.

  Sterling is the perfect embodiment of both of us. He took on several of his

  father's features, but has my eyes.

  To be honest, I was terrified at the prospect of becoming a mother,

  especially considering I never had one.

  But, now that Sterling is born... all my fears are gone.

  And Adrian, in such a short time is so good with him.

  I almost think he holds him more than I do.

  Well, we'll be leaving soon to go visit Adrian's family so they can finally meet their grandson.

  I am SO excited for the future. Mine and Adrian's. Ours. Together.

  Paige flipped the diary closed and sat it beside her on the bed. “And something tells me that's the end.” With a sigh, she pushed herself to her feet and turned to her half packed room. She swallowed the tears that threatened to fall from her eyes. Why does leaving feel so wrong?

  ~*~*~*Reluctant Hearts*~*~*~

  Adrian stared at the floor as he stood before the crowd, the minister at his right, the head of the council to his left. And to be honest, the council was probably the happiest man in the room.

  As the ceremony started, he only felt his heart sink lower.

  ~*~*~*Reluctant Hearts*~*~*~

  Mrs. Applegate stood in the doorway, watching as Paige packed her last few belongings. “Are you sure about this?”

  Paige looked back at the older woman, her shoulders slumping. “Do I have a choice?”

  “What about Adrian?”

  “He's marrying Lady Patricia.”

  “But that doesn't mean that he should.”

  “What am I supposed to do?” Paige shook her head emphatically. “I don't have a right to stop the wedding.”

  “Are you sure?”

  ~*~*~*Reluctant Hearts*~*~*~

  Adrian watched as the young flower girl, Patricia's niece, came down the aisle, dropping the petals so that they landed exactly where she wanted them. Then she was followed by Sterling who...

  was walking very very slowly. He held the ring pillow in his hands and took one. Small. Step. At. A.

  Time.

  ~*~*~*Reluctant Hearts*~*~*~

  “Why would I have a right to interrupt the wedding? I have no claim to Adrian. Or Sterling.”

  Paige threw her hands in the air. “I don't even know who my own family is! I don't know if I'm already married or if that's all just my imagination!” She slowly sank into a chair. “I feel so torn because I feel like if I loose Adrian I'm loosing a part of myself. But at the same time...”

  Mrs. Applegate watched the girl closely. “What is your heart telling you to do?”

  “I don't know!”

  ~*~*~*Reluctant Hearts*~*~*~

  A slow smile crept across Adrian's face as he watched his son stop to talk to someone in the audience... again. Sterling still hadn't made it all the way down the aisle. Besides walking very slowly, he'd frequently stopped to chit chat with various people. And Adrian had a feeling that his son was up to more than he was letting on.

  ~*~*~*Reluctant Hearts*~*~*~

  Paige closed her bag and released a deep breath. “I have to go.”

  Mrs. Applegate sighed. “Alright Dear, I won't argue with you. But... before you go, could you do a small favor for me?”

  The younger girl nodded. “Sure.”

  “Would you mind running up to the attic? In the back left corner is a small box. Would you

  bring it to me?”

  “Of course.”

  ~*~*~*Reluctant Hearts*~*~*~

  Needless to say, the Council had grown tired of Sterling's procrastinating and one of them had marched down the aisle, picked the child up and carried him to his father's side.

  Sterling now stood in his place, a pout on his face as he stared at the floor. He hadn't even looked up when the bride had entered the room.

  Adrian turned to face the minister, trying desperately to keep his thoughts on the current events.

  But they kept drifting. Drifting towards the girl that he knew was upstairs getting ready to leave.

  “Duke Channon?”

  He snapped out of his reverie and looked up at the minister who was looking at him with

  concern. “Yes?”

  “Is everything alright?”

  “Yes. Of course.”

  ~*~*~*Reluctant Hearts*~*~*~

  Paige climbed the stairs to the attic, instantly understanding why the older woman hadn't wanted to make the trip herself. She pushed open the creaky trap door and began to cough as dust flew into her face. “How long has it been since someone's been up here?” She stepped into the room, waving the flying particles away from her face. “Back left corner.”

  ~*~*~*Reluctant Hearts*~*~*~

  “If anyone objects to this union, speak now or forever hold your peace.”

  “Can I say something?” Sterling piped up instantly. All eyes turned to him and he grinned, a mischievous spark in his eyes. And Adrian was sure he heard him mumbled 'perfect' beneath his breath.

  The child took a deep breath. “I just wanted to say how happy I am for my Papa. He's the bestest father there ever was...”

  ~*~*~*Reluctant Hearts*~*~*~

  Paige made her way to the designated corner. “Small box. Small box.” Instead, all she found was several large... somethings, covered in cloth. “Maybe they're under there. But why would Mrs.

  Applegate need it now?” With a shrug, she grabbed the cloth and yanked it away, allowing it to billow to the floor. Instantly, she froze, her eyes growing wide as her heart all but stopped in her chest.

  “What...”

  Staring back at her were several portraits, some small and some several feet tall. But what caught her attention was one of the smaller ones. The girl painted on the canvas... “She looks like me?”

  She shook her head. “How?” Then, one other picture caught her attention. The tallest one in the very back. It stood nearly ten feet tall. But what took her breath away was the couple and the child.

  The painter had managed to capture every emotion on their faces. Their soft smiles. Their faces radiating nothing but love as they gazed down at the baby in her arms. The inscription on the gold plate that was set on the frame read: Duke Adrian Channon. Duchess Olivia and their son, Sterling. Never have I seen a more perfect picture of true love.

  “Adrian...” Images suddenly began to flash through her mind so fast that it made her dizzy. Days from years ago. From her childhood. Meeting Adrian. Falling in love. Wondering if there was really hope for them. Getting married. Having Sterling. And the storm that had pulled her away as she heard him shout he
r name... By time everything came back, she was panting for air, her heart pounding in her chest. “Oh... Adrian.” Her head suddenly snapped up, her eyes widening in horror. “No... Adrian!”

  ~*~*~*Reluctant Hearts*~*~*~

  “And on my fourth birthday he took me on a walk...”

  “Are you going to stop him?” The head of the council asked.

  Adrian shrugged. “The minister said to speak now.”

  The man groaned and shook his head. “Since you won't...” He stepped around the young Duke

  and tapped the boy on the shoulder. “That's enough.”

  “But I'm not done!” Sterling whined. “I still got a lot more to say! A lot more!”

  “You may say your piece at the reception.” Then, with a nod at the minister, the wedding

  continued.

  “Lady Patricia to you swear to love, honor...”

  Adrian sighed as he listened the man talk. As Patricia said 'I do'. As the question was directed at him. The silence that followed was stiff and suffocating.

  “Duke Channon?” The minister said slowly. “Did you hear me?”

  Adrian nodded slowly. “I did. I'm sorry it's just...” He released a deep breath. “I d-”

  “No! Stop!” All heads turned as the back doors slammed open and Paige ran halfway down the

  aisle. “Adrian, don't! Please!”

  “Paige?” He stared at her in confusion, but at the same time felt a spark of joy flash through his whole body.

  Tears were streaming down her face as she stared at him. Only him. “Please don't do this. I... I need you. I can't... Please.” The last word came out just above a whisper, but he still heard it.

  “Paige,” He said slowly. “What-”

  “This an outrage!” The head of the council shouted. “How dare you, the nanny interrupt this wedding!?”

  But she paid him no mind, just kept her gaze trained on the one she loved. “J-just try to

  remember. Remember everything. ” She took one step closer.

  “Silence!”

  Still she ignored the man. “The first time you snuck out to town, you knocked over a fruit cart and knocked an old lady over.” She saw Adrian's eyes widen. “When you got up, she hit you with her bag... and then you ran into me.”